In Oh, the Places You’ll Go!, Dr. Suess insightfully wrote, “On and on you will hike and I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are. You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act.  Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.”

Regardless, of your age, balancing the stressors of life is essential to managing stress and anxiety.

Let’s face it, most of us are creatures of habit. We prefer our coffee black, or with cream and sugar, or maybe we drink green tea. We might enjoy Sunday football, a morning bike ride, or working on the computer. We follow the stock market, or the celebrities, play games, or read novels.

We are often stressed by everyday disruptions: our internet connection going down, or being late for a flight. More stressful events such as a new job, a new baby, illness, or loss of a family member or friend can trigger anxiety, and complex feelings.  Both happy and sad experiences can be stressful.

So what about children? When I first became a counselor, most of what I knew was theoretical. I “knew” that children benefited from consistent routines, but I didn’t really reflect on the reasons. After years of counseling children and teens, I have developed a deeper understanding of this fairly simple principle. What may seem insignificant in the world of adults can be very significant for children and visa versa.

Very young children may not be able to verbalize, or even identify their need for consistency; however, it still exists. Young children benefit from consistent bedtimes and meal times, they have favorite toys, and they like to be prepared for their day. It’s really not that different than an adult’s world. When their routine is disrupted they will sometimes respond with tantrums and difficult behaviors.

Obviously, there are times when disruptions cannot be avoided, but at least we can have some insight regarding why the child is so upset. Even adults who have learned to balance stress, can still feel anxious or cranky when they are hungry, tired, or worried. Consistency is very important for young children when it comes to positive discipline, affection and love, and routines.

Older children and teens can develop anxiety over changes in their school schedule (new school, new grade, new classroom, new friends, etc.). Some of these changes may seem relatively minor to adults, but they are an integral part of a child’s world. Imagine having a new boss every year, or changing jobs every few years? Expectations, rules, and classmates (child versions of colleagues) change from year to year. Changes in the family dynamic, such as a new sibling, divorce, and illness are often stressful, and can be expected given the circumstances.

Moreover, children often have little control over their environment. Friends may come and go, but as children become older their peers become a more important part of their word. Their older siblings become teenagers, or leave for college, while younger siblings may demand (or be perceived as demanding) a lot of their parents’ attention. Children may suffer internally while trying to exert control over their environment.

Teenagers are experiencing physical and emotional changes, and are forming their identity. They have to balance relationships, identity formation, academic and social pressures, extracurricular activities, and family life. They may start to ponder existential thoughts, experiment with who they are, wonder what the world means to them, and where they fit in. Friendships and relationships wax and wane. Their routines are in a constant state of flux, and they are constantly forced to adapt to new routines, and balance stress.

Change can be good and flexibility is an essential trait; however, it doesn’t mean that it comes easy for everyone. It’s important to help our children and teens maintain their routines, and also help them adapt and cope when stressful changes occur. Like Dr. Suess said, “life is a great balancing act.”

The next time your child or teen is undergoing a “routine” change or an extremely stressful situation, remember how difficult change and stress can be for people of all ages. Children and teens may not verbalize how they feel about change, stress, and their feelings. They may act indifferent, withdrawn, or engage in acting out behaviors. Sometimes when we look at stress from the child or teen’s perspective, it can be enlightening. We can learn from each other. For children, teens and adults, balancing the stressors of life is an ongoing process.