Resolutions and Change

Another year has passed; today is the first day of 2015

New Year’s Day is an interesting holiday. It commemorates the end of one year, and the beginning of another year. It is a junction of the past and the future.

This New Year’s Day, you may be reminiscing about what a wonderful year you had in 2014. Or you may be feeling relieved that 2014 is over and you are glad that it is a new year. To quote a friend of mine, “Good riddance to 2014, this has been the worst year of my life.”

Maybe in 2014, you experienced a loss, break-up or divorce, have been grieving the death of a loved one, or have experienced health problems. If so, then thinking about 2014 probably involves sad or traumatic memories, and painful reminders of what was lost. Maybe 2014 was a difficult year for other reasons: stress, anxiety, sadness, depression, or difficulties with school, work, relationships, family, or social life. A lot can happen in a year.

Maybe 2014 wasn’t a terrible year, but it wasn’t fantastic either. It may fall somewhere on this continuum. If this was how you experienced the year, then, 2014 probably contained a combination of rough patches and good memories. Actually, most people probably fall somewhere on this continuum, but if the difficulties you experienced outweighed the good, or some really awful things happened, then the pendulum swings to it being a “bad” year.

Personally, I’ve never spent much time thinking about New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. I’ve never set New Year’s resolutions for myself. However, today, I’ve been reflecting a bit more than usual. I’ve taken inventory of my own life during the past year, which included some sad memories. It wasn’t the worst year of my life, but wasn’t the best either. Nonetheless, I’ve been able to reflect on a few wonderful memories that happened in 2014. I won’t bore you with my reflections, but I will encourage you to try to reflect on your year and try to remember what was good along with what was difficult.

Sometimes we cannot control what happens to us, and in those circumstances we need to accept that we cannot control the situation, and try to work on what we are able to change in our lives. Change is difficult, but it is an essential part of being human. Therefore, I am going to break my tradition of neglecting New Year’s resolutions; I’m going to set some New Year’s resolutions for myself. I am also going to encourage you, my reader, to do the same.

My New Year’s Resolutions Are:

  1. To be more patient with my family, friends, strangers, and myself. This is something I already strive for, but I know I can improve. Having patience can be challenging for everyone, even for therapists.
  2. To give back more to the community. I used to volunteer a lot when I had more free time. However, there are many ways to volunteer and/or help others. These can be big or small, and can also be creative. I’ve already started filling up boxes with clothes, shoes, unused books and toys that I will donate. I also see as many reduced fee clients as I can afford. I don’t think finances should be a barrier to receiving counseling or psychotherapy services. I will make a commitment to continue doing this in 2015.
  3. To be a better friend. Sometimes, I get so busy it’s hard to find time for everyone and everything in my life. However, the smallest token of friendship is often greatly appreciated and reciprocated. I have a good friend who frequently sends me snail mail. She picks out handmade letterpress cards and sends them to me. She doesn’t send them only for special occasions, but often just to say “hello.” I need to follow her lead and send more cards, emails, and make random phone calls just to say “I’m thinking of you.”

Do you have any resolutions for 2015? What are they?